This is an encouragement for us to learn individually and collectively from the conflicts, confusion, misinformation, and sins from our recent challenges. Our purpose is to receive the benefits from the Lord that He intends to accomplish through those trials so that we might become more like Jesus Christ in our attitudes, motives, words, and actions. (James 1:2-4) 

Although some of you were less involved in the problems we encountered, we believe that each one will be able to contribute as the Holy Spirit gives insight and discernment as well as benefit from the thoughts of others.

Through this process, we hope to reap the following benefits personally and collectively as individuals and as a fellowship:

Don’t make the same mistakes again.

Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mess-ups. Let’s ask the Lord to keep us from returning to those mistakes. Proverbs 26:11–12 says, Like a dog that returns to its vomit, a fool does the same foolish things again and again. 

Discover the benefits that God has for us through these trials.

Discern God’s life-giving purpose and meaning when you allow Him to take your painful experiences and use them for good in your life and in the lives of others. Psalm 37:23-24: The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. 

Cooperate with the Lord in His refinement process.

Mistakes do not need to define us—but God often uses them to refine us.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (I Peter 1:6-7)

Confess and repent of any sin the Lord reveals to you. (See page 2) 

Learning from our mistakes in relationships requires a humble spirit that is committed to loving unconditionally and forgiving completely.

Enjoy fun and fellowship together.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO SEE EVENTS FROM GOD’S POINT OF VIEW?

The only way we can fulfill important Biblical commands and make Scriptural commitments is to see why things that happen are actually for our benefit and not for our destruction. Our normal tendency is to react in anger or frustration and to look for people or God to blame. Sometimes we must begin by faith to be obedient to God’s commands, trusting Him to open our eyes and hearts. Here are a few commands that can only be accomplished supernaturally by faith when we begin to know why God allowed things to happen.

“In everything, give thanks.” (I Thessalonians 5:18)

It is difficult to give thanks when we are looking at events from our perspective. However, if we see these same events from God’s point of view and learn how they might benefit us and others, it becomes easier to give thanks by faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Proverbs 3:5)

It is hard to trust in the Lord if we do not understand why He allows things to happen to us and do not see them as benefiting us or others.

“Fear not, neither be afraid." (Isaiah 44:8)

Fear is not from God but from Satan. We tend to fear what we do not understand. Fear is a natural response to seeing a situation from a man's point of view. By faith, ask God what He is trying to accomplish in your life and at Stonewater through the struggles at the end of last year.

“Rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4)

It is tough to rejoice in events that normally produce the opposite emotions. However, if we see these same events from God’s point of view and realize that they are designed for our good, it becomes possible.

“God works all things together for good” (Romans 8:28).

It is almost cruel to see our recent tragic situation and call it good. However, when we see that situation (part of God’s process) in light of His desired product (Romans 8:29), we can begin to accept that situation by faith that God ultimately has a good purpose for allowing it to happen.

“Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ” (2 Cor. 2:14)

If I cannot see some of the triumph of God, I will tend not to thank God. How is God leading you in triumph through recent trials?

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” (Philippians 2:14)

How can I develop a discipline that will help me to begin to understand God’s ways as well as assist others in discerning why God let a particular thing happen?

1. Begin by faith, thanking God for these difficult circumstances at the end of 2021 (I Thess. 5:18).

2. Ask God for wisdom to begin to discern why He let it happen (Jam. 1:2–5). Remember, “Now we see in a mirror dimly” (I Cor. 13:12a).

3. Repent of any known sin and obey His commandments (John 14:21).

4. List possible benefits that you and Hillside can experience by going through this difficult situation. For example, how can God use this to produce humility in me (Jam. 4:6)? And what character qualities could this build in me if I respond to it correctly (Rom. 8:28–29)? 

Will I learn patience through what has happened?

Will I be more grateful for people and things I take for granted?

Will I be more kind and forgiving toward offenders?

Will it motivate me to develop endurance?

Will these hurtful words and circumstances result in greater dependence upon the Lord and His Spirit?

1. Is this God’s way of disciplining me or Hillside? (Heb. 12:6)

2. What can I learn from this that will help me encourage others? (2 Cor. 1:4)

3. Did this happen because of the sins of others?

4. Is God allowing me to suffer in order to show His love to someone else?

5. How will this help me identify with and understand and appreciate Christ more?

6. Other

Adapted and expanded from “A Comprehensive Course in Effective Counseling” (Part Three) from the Advanced Training Institute of America, pp. 5-6.